Wednesday, 10 November 2010
Im pissed the fuck off like majorly I hate the dumb ass bus system. Metro are some crooks forreal and now im furious wtf the dumbass bus just took a 10 dollar bill and this asshole is gunna say oh well its gone I swear on everything if I cnt get on the 21 with his "ticket" he's suppose to b writing im takin my ass home and im no joking wtf that fuckin machine shud have a return on it and I swear I will complain until I get my damn money back
Friday, 19 March 2010
i cant sleep bcuz my pillow is wet with tears
fear manifesting in my every suspicion
my cheeks glisten with disdain
how cud i hav ever fallen this hard?
and heartbreak is once again my bestfriend. he has but a day to prove that it wasn jus a lie, i cant see it ending like this. the sacrifices i made for him and he for me. wat happend?
Every sign points to this and i have to know is it truly time to let it go. im not goin to pretend and follow instruction from a magazine or book. i hav to go with gut and hope that its unconditional love we share. i cant see u being any less. if u r your nothing invisible in my eyes. My eyes reflect what i see and it tears me up and tore me down. My heart is sinking i knew i cudnt let my guard down. But i wantd u to see the place i held for u in person.
But i cant deny it anymore.. its over
Monday, 25 January 2010
so...this could POSSIBLY be the start of the most rocky lovefilled relationship of my life.
but its so hard to keep it steady wen ur so scared of getting broken.
the more u learn about ppl the more it weighs on ur opinion of them. its just up to u as to wether u can accept them thru the good bad and ugly. finding things about their past doesn make them bad. time brings change
wether it be n the heart or in the mind.
also finding something out give u three options.
1. get mad on the spot and throw everything away
2. find answers
3. find the truth
getting mad typically means u didn want the relationship in the first place but ur gettin out while u can in order to spare u heart undrrstandable but u cud b missing out on something real and u wnt realize it until its too late. the person u think is doing u wrong cud possibly be the person who cares for u the most.
yes there is a difference between getting answers and getting the truth
it jus depends on which one will satisfy ur curiosity. getting the truth means that ur most definetly gunna get hurt its like the saying goes "truth hurts" thats y if u dont intend for that jus go for getting an answer something to satisfy ur curiosity and will leave u blissfully ignorant. "curiosity killed the cat but satifaction brought it back"if ur trying to find an aswer txt msg ur guy or msg him so he can hav ample time to coem up with a story that makes sense. if u want the truth call or ask face to face thats the only way.be mindful tho it wont matter if u go off and get angry and do whatever bcuz if the guy never cared about yu ur feelings really wont matter.being in a relationship is so hard but theres a point where u have to decided do u want to be happy with the person thats putting in effort for u? or would u rather have many guys and live the single life?wll watever ur delima u have to be smart about it and NEVER get carried away putting deep emotions or give ur heart away to ANYONE even a helpless romantic like myself knows that this isnt wise it only leads to heatbreak at a young age.but when ur older most guys want to settle down so theyr safe to give ur heart to because who are they gunna cheat on u with attendant at the nursing home? i think not"it takes a fool to learn that love dont love nobody"so dnt ever think ur an acception jus go with the flow and see where it takes u
Monday, 18 January 2010
Why is it so hard to trust people?
I've had plenty of good topics to blog about but this is really the only one that was nagging me enough to talki about it mostly because i need to clear my thoughts...
So why is it so hard for us to give our trust to those who are possibly the best candidates but we put up with the ones that so openly mistreat us and that dont care for our feelings?
Idk. but i do know im letting go of my insecurities in 2010
im tired of being held back by fear and anxiety
to more wondering and wandering aimlessly int orelationships if somene makes me happy im going to trust them and trust that they keep my feelings in mind. Im goin to try to be more honest about how i feel and about the things that bother me because im tired of holding stuff in and having to worry. and besides how can they continue to learn about me or open up if thy dont know what mkes me tick? i mean they cant read minds. I thhink thats it...people cant trust because they dont want anyone else knowing more about themselves than they do
they dont want to show vulnerability to someone who could possibly expose that to others.
hmm nice thought. yet tragic. ahhh the things we do for love <3
Monday, 30 November 2009
it seems like if my life wer a movie it wud be at the part where all events r pointtng to the protagonist demise. but i keep comin out stronger. my biggest problem right now is my home life nd relationship life. i cnt communicate with my mom nd im tryna figur out how to build relationships the real way...the patient way. im trying to get it together tho...